“Over time I have come to believe that brave does not mean what we think it does. It does not mean “being afraid and doing it anyway.” Nope. Brave means listening to the still small voice inside and DOING AS IT SAYS. Regardless of what the rest of the world is saying. Brave implies WISDOM. Brave people are not simply those who JUMP every time. They do not necessarily “do it anyway.” Brave people block out all the yelling voices and listen to the deepest voice inside the quietest, stillest place in their heart. If that voice says JUMP, they jump. And if that voice says TURN AROUND — they turn around, and they hold their head high. Often the one who turns around shows GREAT BRAVERY, because she has been true to herself even in the face of pressure to ignore her still, small voice and perform for the crowd.” Glennon Doyle Melton

These days, I don’t want to be brave. I only want to be quiet. But guess what. It takes great amounts of bravery to allow oneself such stillness. I abandon the world. I hush the white noise and instead trust the always peaceful voice of God. I am in sacred territory now. It has come at a great expense and there is not one bone in my body that is willing to let these gifts of great loss pass by without notice.

The way & the truth & the life. I am unraveling. Rebelling. Renewing. Undoing. I surrender.

And, in doing so…
I am whole.

I love you, Carl. Infinitely.

{originally published March 2, 2015}